I feel like a bit of a broken record, but the number of times that this comes up a month leads me to believe that I have not quite worded it well to the right people, or it is not getting out there. If there is someone in your life breaking any of these rules, feel free to share it with them. Maybe if it is coming from a neutral source it will be better received!
This blog post is geared towards the family members of people who may be in need of organizing assistance. The intent is educate you on how to best help your loved one.
What not to do: Assume that they feel there is a problem.
What to do instead:
Listen. Ok, I will repeat that: LISTEN. Generally, folks who want help will drop subtle, or not so sublet
clues to invite you into the conversation.
What not do do: Show up at their house to "help."
What to do instead:
Ask if there is a time that you could come by and be helpful.
What not to do: Lose trust by renegade organizing and throwing things out.
What to do instead:
Listen very carefully. It is not your stuff. If you want to be helpful, you have to respect the person and
their choices. Do not throw anything away without permission. If you break this trust, you are severely
risking damaging or losing that relationship.
What not to do: Threaten them with interventions.
What to do instead:
Tell them how much you care about them and why their behavior or environment is a concern.
What not to do: Make judgments about their lifestyle, choices, or health.
What to do instead:
Support them and their journey, no matter how difficult or different than yours. If
you are truly concerned about their safety, then check in on them and find services that would be
helpful. Often times, people struggling with mental health conditions and chronic disorganization have
suffered a traumatic event. Our community in Madison offers a wide array of peer led support groups,
professionally led groups, and physicians who can help.
What not to do: Buy them a gift certificate for organizing hours.
What to do instead:
This goes back to the previous question about finding services that would be helpful. Feel free to
include an organizer or two in your list of community resources, but please do not buy them anything!
This would be similar to buying a friend a Weight Watchers membership if they did not ask for it.
People can be very insulted! Remember, it is all a matter of perception, and unless that person in
harming themselves or someone else, your perception does not matter.
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